Words from my heart
Spring semester began this week at FPU and that means seeing friends again after a month-long vacation. Fun! Ally and I crossed paths on Monday. We hugged, asked each other about Christmas, and then she introduced me to Josh, the young guy she had been walking with.
“Hi. Nice to meet you,” I said.
“Nice to meet you,” he said.
“Josh is in your 11:00 class,” Ally pointed out.
“Oh,” I said, surprised. I hadn’t noticed since the room had been packed with students.
Then Josh asked, “You’re the one who sits in the corner, right?”
“Um, yeah—that would be me,” I said, surprised again. He had noticed?
In one quick observation—without realizing it—Josh had me pegged. I’m the back-row-corner type (they make for great escapes). I like staying in the background.
I like hiding . . . it’s safe.
When my kids were in elementary school, we took a family trip to Universal Studios. Evidence of my cocooning nature surfaced that day. After flying down Jurassic Park’s “84-foot death-defying raft plunge,” we waited to see the picture of our wet and wild ride. When it was handed to us, I stared wide-eyed. There, in a sea of waving hands and screaming faces, sat a woman curled snug as a roly poly, pulling her rain poncho as far over her face as possible. I did NOT want to get wet. But truth splashed me in the face–that’s how I was living! Curled up. Face covered. Hiding. Safe. And not having much fun.
So, yeah—that would be me. I force myself to crawl into the light. I devour stories about courageous women to keep me moving. I hold on to quotes that inspire me to stay engaged. Author Anais Nin wrote:
Then the time came when the risk it took
To remain tight in a bud was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
Being back in school and writing publicly scares me.
But I know I must keep taking the death-defying plunge.
I must crawl out of my cocoon. I must uncurl. I must risk.
The next trip to Universal . . . no poncho. Fun!